Life

I’m SO busy!

I hear these words a lot, coming from my friends and coming out of my own mouth. I’m not sure if this is a 20-something thing, a London thing, or a YouTube thing but everyone is so busy!

Here is a typical conversation between any two friends/acquaintances:

Oh hey! Not seen you in ages, what have you been up to?

Oh my god, I’ve been so busy! Just doing lots of stuff, so busy, you know?

Yeah, same. So much going on. It’s crazy! Well I’ve got to be somewhere for this thing but it was good to run into you!

Me too, I’m on my way to a meeting. Great to see you!

The amount of conversations I have like this pains my heart. I hate myself for sounding so self-important and vague but I always justify it by telling myself

  • I can’t be bothered going into detail about all the things that have been keeping me busy
  • This person probably doesn’t care to hear it they’re just being polite asking
  • I genuinely can’t even remember what I was doing yesterday

But sometimes I think I lie. If someone tells me they’ve been super busy and I’ve just had a bit of a quiet week (because when you’re freelance the work comes in waves) then I feel bad about not being busy and will pretend like I have so I can impress this person that I probably don’t care about impressing. I wish I could just say, “it’s been a quiet week, I’ve just hung out at home in my pyjamas watching shows on Netflix and YouTube videos”. And I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person who lies about being busy. And I also think it depends on who you’re talking to.

Being a “busy” person and dating is an interesting world to navigate. I used to tell myself that I was “too busy to date” but then I realised I just wasn’t meeting anyone I felt really excited about and I wasn’t prepared to compromise my busy lifestyle to make time for them. I genuinely would use “I’m too busy to see you” when ending things with some people. Dating just wasn’t a priority for me because none of these guys were a priority to me (sorry if we dated in the last year and you’re reading this but you get it). But I reckon that if I met someone who I was really into that I wouldn’t even have to think about making time for them, it would just happen naturally because I would want to see them rather than feeling like you have to squeeze them into your already existing schedule. But I will say that I really love my life so this person would have to be absolutely incredible for me to even consider changing around my priorities. Shush, I’m 24 I’m allowed to be demanding like this. I’ve got time!

I’ve also noticed that I’ve become more introverted recently. People around people drains me and I often just want to lock myself away in my room and not speak to another soul for a good amount of time. I really need time by myself. I may say to someone that I can’t hang out until next week because I’ve got no free evenings this week but that’ll be a lie because I do have a free evening but I’ve set that aside to just be home by myself and do nothing. I had a night like that last night and it was amazing. I got back home from a day on set, got into my pyjamas and spent the evening catching up on YouTube videos. But to me that’s also being busy, because that down time is so important. It genuinely keeps me sane. I start getting sad, exhausted and angry if it’s been a while since I’ve had a night off so I try to have one night a week where I have no plans. And it feels so good! Take care of yourselves, busy people.

What do you think of this whole “busy” people thing? Does it happen to everyone? Does everyone lie? Let me know in the comments!

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6 Comments

  1. I don’t consider myself busy, I consider myself productive. As a freelance sculptor/puppet maker, I have to actively seek out clients. When I don’t have any work, I’m creating my own projects, doing studies, challenging myself. Sometimes I feel like I’m an Olympic athlete because I’m obsessed with improving and challenging myself to become a better artist. I experiment with different controllers and different puppet bodies: four-legged string puppets, sometimes four armed and two-legged, this one time I made a headless muscle man puppet and carved a funny face in its torso, puppets with tiny heads and huge bodies, brains with legs etc. etc. I love pushing the boundaries of this medium.

    I don’t have enough precious and semi-precious stone material to practice stone carving so I usually use soapstone (very cheap) or cast an extra-strength type of plaster called gypsium cement in a small bucket. This second side to my body of work deals exclusively with glorified and powerful representations of nude females. They are sensual, powerful, and deified figures based on goddess representations of ancient Rome and Greek Goddess sculpture but with a bit of a twist. I add something surreal to them but I can’t say what it is. It’s a genre I invented and I want to keep it a secret until I can be sure I get credit for it.

  2. I always “feel” busy if you get me? Is that even a thing? Like I might not have much going on but it feels like lots and then I’m all like “omg I feel so busy, I AM so busy aghhhh sTRESS!” and I think that like you, maybe I’m lying as I’m quite an introverted person myself too at the moment.

    Interesting post Hannah, it’s really made me think and slightly confuse myself but sure, these things happen aha! 😛

    Lucy from http://coffeestainedthoughts.com/ xx

  3. recharging time is 100% valid whether in your schedule or as an unforeseen obstacle to plans already made ♡

  4. I totally get like this! When catching up with people I haven’t seen for a while, and they ask the inevitable “so what have you been up to” replying with “i’ve been busy” is a lot easier than having to go into detail of all the little trips I’ve made, projects at university I have completed. Sometimes its just because I don’t want to waste the energy explaining myself when the conversation is only a polite catch up. Also, it feels unnatural to answer with a long list of things I’ve been doing. If people really care, it naturally comes up in conversation. Who you’ve been dating, how work is; these things tend to pop up in longer conversations with people who are truly interested in your life and vice versa.

    The whole lying about being busy is also something I do. Quite often I’ll get a message asking whether I want to go out for drinks that evening. If i’ve got my mind set on staying in and relaxing, watching films and drinking tea. I usually tell them i’m busy. As an introvert I like to work myself up to spending time with people, so when i have an evening booked for some much needed “me time” saying I’m busy is usually easier than explaining to people that I’m just too tired. (People don’t react well to you saying no to seeing them just because you need to relax.)

  5. I don’t feel like I’m ever “busy,” but I never get bored. There’s always something to do… more than I can keep up with, really! That’s life. I think society today encourages us to stay busy, and we feel like if we don’t we’ll be judged for it. I don’t think most people are lying when they say they’re busy in general, though they may not be at that particular moment. Overall, most people keep busy, chasing after their dreams of making a better life for themselves. Everyone is so hyper these days! If we all stopped running and stood still a minute, would the world calm down?

    I live a very simple life, but it’s enough for me most of the time. Sometimes I feel as if I’m “missing out” on life because I almost never travel or have adventures, and just stay home. Yet I’m never bored. I feel overwhelmed at times, honestly. I cannot understand how anyone in this world today can ever feel bored. Busy, sure! You’re justified in feeling busy, Hannah! You do so much!! You need your down time now and then. One day a week is a good goal to have for recharging yourself. When I hear people complain they’re bored, though, that’s when I worry. There’s so much I’d like to do and nowhere near enough hours in the day. I think taking time off from the mad rush on a regular basis helps give you perspective on where you’re headed, though, so kudos for doing that! <3

  6. I’ve been thinking about this a lot too. I’m 23 and one of the things that I’ve noticed about this generation is that we have this built in expectation to “side hustle”. Everyone I know is working multiple jobs or have very structured side projects that might as well be another job. So I think everyone is genuinely busy, and everyone is also genuinely exhausted.

    Where I worry about people not being genuine is when I’m dating. I recently deleted all my dating apps because I kept going on dates where it felt like myself and the guys I was meeting up with we’re going on dates for the sake of going on dates. I found myself getting more excited about getting dressed up for the date than excited about meeting this person I had been chatting with – huge sign that there was a problem. I kept finding that I would go on dates and things would be great but then at the first sign that we would have to put in work into getting to know each other better, guys would bail. Also I’ve had some jading experiences with guys lying about wanting a serious relationship up until they realized that saying that wouldn’t make me sleep with them on the second date. So dating in general has been frustrating! I want to be really excited to get to know someone, and I want to be with someone really excited to get to know me. I didn’t think dating apps were helping with that.

    Until I find someone like that, I’d rather spend my time with friends whose opinions I respect, and who respect me and help me enjoy life and grow. We’re a generation that has constantly been told that time is money and that we should spend our time wisely, so I’m not that surprised that more and more we’re focusing on our needs and building existing relationships that are mutually beneficial instead of blindly pursuing romantic partnership for the sake of romantic partnership.

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