Life

The last 3 times I cried

I cry a lot. Sad cry, happy cry, scared cry. I’m just an emotional crier and there’s nothing wrong with that. I enjoy a good cry, it’s cathartic. It also doesn’t really take much to get the water works flowing for me. My tear ducts are very sensitive to any kind of emotion. I cry at adverts, at film trailers, books, I’ve even just cried thinking about things. So I thought I’d share with you the last three times I cried. I am not ashamed!

1. Last night watching Finding Dory
I can’t even. You think Up is bad? I was crying in the opening 5 minutes of Finding Dory, I wasn’t expecting it to happen but damn Pixar you got me good. Baby Dory was just too cute for me to handle and any time she was on screen I’d start crying again. And then the climax of the film I was just sobbing. Loudly. I even cried once the film was over. Me and my friends we in the cinema lobby talking about the film and I got emotional just talking about it and started crying again. Pretty sure Stevie snapchatted it.

2. Brexit
I found out that the UK voted 52% in favour of leaving the European Union on Thursday night at a VidCon party. I’d just come out of the toilet, checked my phone and there was a notification from the BBC and I just dropped to the ground. My friend found me and all I could say was “I need to find Rosianna”. We finally found Rosi in the party and we looked at each other and hugged with tears streaming down our faces. I’m still devastated about Brexit but I just feel hopeless now. My country doesn’t feel like home anymore. I don’t recognise its values.

3. Over a boy 
This wouldn’t be a Hannah Witton list of cries if it didn’t include one about a boy. Please don’t feel sorry for me about this one it’s actually quite ridiculous. My housemate was having a birthday party and a guy I like was supposed to be coming but he couldn’t make it in the end because he had to work late. But he couldn’t use his phone at work to tell me if/when he could make it. So I was steadily getting more and more drunk whilst constantly looking at my phone and feeling anxious. When eventually he called at midnight to say he’d just got out and couldn’t come I broke down crying. Classy. Don’t mix alcohol and emotions, kids. Take it from me.

It even felt good just now writing about crying. Don’t forget there’s no shame in crying! And if you want to share I’d love to hear about the last time you cried in the comments.

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32 Comments

  1. I didn’t cry over Brexit, but I totally get the hopelessness. My hometown feels too quiet though – given the national mood presented on twitter, I feel like everything should be on fire, and a part of me thinks we’d deserve it!

    No, the last time I cried was I think the day Anton Yelchin died. He’s been one of my favourite actors since about 2009, and it was such a shock that he, of all people, would die. I was numb for a lot of the afternoon, and then in the evening I just broke, and leaned against my fridge, sobbing.

  2. Awww, poor Hannah. I wish I could be there to hold you close and wipe your tears away.

    P.S.

    Brexit was a good decision. Once you understand politics and economics better you’ll see it’s nothing to cry about.

      1. My comment was not intended to be patronizing but examining the entirety of the political and economic facts of what started the UK ref, Britain was in a lose-lose situation and they chose the lesser of two evils. The EU was originally formed to be an economic alliance, but it started to show signs of become a central, authoritarian nightmare. It was talking about forming its own military. Britain was economically affected, but in time it will recover. If they would’ve stayed with the EU, then would’ve ended up losing out economically anyway. Just look at Greece’s economy. Greece is in an economic recession as a direct result of the EU’s policies.

        This may not be the best place to discuss this. Over skype, or maybe a google hangout on Shayrah’s Salon with the youtuber “Shayrah?”

        1. That’s amusing. Especially seeming that we’re likely to join the European Single Market, which reapplies most European legislation… except that we would have opted out on being able to vote on what they are and how they’re changed. Yay. Less democracy. And if we don’t join the single market or any of its sisters, then I hope you enjoy fees 🙂

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8xdCFwng_k

      2. ” I’m still devastated about Brexit but I just feel hopeless now. My country doesn’t feel like home anymore. I don’t recognise its values.”

        One of its values is “democracy,” the right of the people to choose who leads them because the government serves the people. EU officials are not elected, they are chosen by the EU without vote from the people. Your country did a great job of preserving its ideals of democracy by shifting the power from the non-elected officials of the EU to the leaders that the British people themselves chose. Please don’t be sad, Hannah. It may seem hard right now, but it will all turn out for the best when the smoke clears.

        1. That may be true, but one of the main reasons people voted to leave was just xenophobia.

          So many people are scared of immigrants “stealing their benefits” and “putting a strain” on public resources, that they would give up security, freedom of movement, and equal rights at work to kick them out.

          When in reality it is the immigrants who are paying taxes, helping the economy and working in the NHS.

          The xenophobia and even racism Britain has shown in making this decision is what I think Hannah is talking about when she says “I don’t recognise its values”

          I don’t either, and I cried too.

          1. It’s got nothing to do with xenophobia (fear of people who are different than you are) if you’re talking about Muslim immigrants. Accusations of xenophobia against any first world country are kind of perplexing, since first world countries have a cultural ethos centering around tolerance and anti-prejudice. Leaving the EU wouldn’t put any bans on immigration, what it allow is the UK police to enforce its laws against rape without accusations of racism by the police as EU policy would dictate.

            “So many people are scared of immigrants “stealing their benefits” and “putting a strain” on public resources, ”

            Actually, what they were really afraid of was the very real fear of being treated as second class citizens in their own country. Entire sectors of villages in the UK have been converted into mini-Pakistans by Pakistani immigrants but no one accuses them of “xenophobia” for having in-group preference. However, these problems are just symptoms of the underlying condition of the EU getting to call the shots and not calling good ones. Most people who voted “leave” were the older and wiser people who have seen this kind of thing happen before and most who voted “remain” were the younger generation who stereotypically fit the description of assuming they knew more than they did. 74% of that generation voted “remain” yet only 36% of that demographic’s population voted.

      3. I just wanted to post a reply in lieu of a like.

        While I’m here, last time I cried was on a train (the best place to have a bit of a weep) going back to the place I grew up in. There’s a big viaduct you pass over just before getting in and it really surprised me to see it which set me off. Always fun when it takes you by surprise.

        Commiserations on the Brexit vote, it’s been a very strange week.

        Best,

        DV

  3. I cried today — I’ve been marathoning House MD on Netflix — season 2, episode 2 “Autopsy” 😭 😭

  4. The last time I cried was for such a trivial reason. It was back in April for my birthday, and me and friends were having pre-drinks round mine. It got to about midnight, which was about the time we were going to head out clubbing. However, my house mate and my other course mate got into an argument about whether to get a taxi or walk, as it was raining. They started having a real go at each other, bringing up things that had happened in the past and simply berating each other. My course mate ran into the bathroom, crying her eyes out, while my house mate was doing the same in his room. He then said he would give the night a miss and told me to have fun and not to worry, but it just made me break down on my stairs. My friends then had to console me. I think it was more do with the fact that it was my birthday, coupled with my house mate crying too, and I just felt like the night had been ruined. It takes a lot for me to cry, so I was quite surprised it triggered me off. But yeah, that’s the last time I cried.

    With regard to Brexit, I didn’t cry, but I was pretty unhappy with the result.

    P.s. Apologies for the long reply!

  5. I must admit I find it very hard to cry. I hate that I do but I do. I realised that some time ago and it upsets me alot. I only can when very sad and upset, like less than once per month. I feel like crying alot more (like right now) seeing Inside out for instance but it just feels wrong, like I am not supposed to, like it’s not big enough. I don’t know how to get free from that.
    I remember when my grandad died we went to his funeral and I felt like I had not known him enough, like it was not important enough, like I wasn’t even sad. My cousin took me in her arms, I think, and told me I could cry. It felt so good as if I cried with my whole body, for everything that had upset me since.
    I like to cry. I’d like to cry. I’d like to cry right now. I cannot. My stomac is taking all the pain and it’s not expulsing any through my eyes.
    Maybe I am ashamed. Don’t know.
    Maybe it’s ’cause of society. ‘Cause I’m a boy.
    No catharsis for me.

    (Btw the address is http://hannahwitton.com/last-5-times-cried/
    5=3 confirmed)

    1. I’m the same and I’m a girl. I don’t even remember the last I cried. Only when I’m drunk. Sometimes I even try to force it, to try and get that catharsis moment, it just doesn’t come out.

  6. The last time I cried was yesterday. I literally sat in the toilets in my school and sobbed for a good 40 mins straight. I had just had a panic attack and only made it through 1 whole lesson. However I do find it incredibly hard to cry even though I want to pretty much all the time. It’s really annoying because I feel like crying would really help to get all of my emotions out (it certainly did yesterday) I just don’t cry. Its weird and I kind of hate it but oh well.

  7. I have always been extremely susceptible to crying too, and it’s something I’ve had a lot of difficulty with throughout my life. I was mostly made to feel ashamed about it at every turn growing up, by my parents, peers, and even teachers. I now have severe anxiety over my emotions and over the fact that most of my emotions manifest themselves through tears. It has made me feel so abnormal for so long, so it helps so much to know that I’m not the only one. Thanks for writing this, Hannah.

    1. Okay, my comment might be very long (sorry for that) but I think that it is very important to talk about this topic.
      So, as long as I can remember I always cried about everything. In fourth grade when I forgot my homework or EVERY time I watch a Disney movie or when I got homesick (side note: I get homesick very easily). And I know exactly how you might feel.
      I hated it when I had to cry in school but I just couldn’t hold it back.
      I lost some very close friends because I wasn’t “cool” enough because I was so emotional. Which made me cry even more.
      And I still can’t watch Disney movies because I will cry. I cry because I miss my mom when she is gone for two weeks, I cry when I think about the fact that my family and my pet and all the people I love will die one day. And I don’t know if this is just me or if it is normal.

      But in 18 years I realized that there is nothing wrong with crying. It is not to get attention or to be a drama queen. It is because I just am that way and I can’t change or control it. And that is absolutely okay.
      Just because I can’t hold back my tears does not mean that something is wrong with me. I’m just very sensitive and I think a lot. But I think there are so many people who feel that way.
      We just don’t know anything about that. I guess too many people are ashamed of it. (Let me tell you something, I saw inside out and there was this short film before the actual film. It was a song that two volcanoes sang and I cried. So much. I was one of the oldest in the cinema and the only one who cried. But that’s okay.)

      I think being emotional is what makes us special.

      So I hope that I could help you a little bit. There are many people who are this emotional and we should not be ashamed to show that.

  8. While at VidCon last week, I wandered down to Downtown Disney to test out one of those Samsung 360 cameras. I wondered into the big Disney store and my first thought was that my old Pooh Bear stuffed animal needs fixing. He’s losing stuffing. I’ve had him since 1995ish. My Dad called me Pooh my entire life. He died in 2008 and then my Mom died last year. So, my second thought was, “my parents will never buy me a new Pooh Bear.” So, I wondered around the store looking for the Pooh Bear section but there wasn’t one. There wasn’t much Pooh Bear stuff at all. There I was, at the happiest place on earth, feeling very outdated, alone, and crying.

  9. I usually get choked up about really stupid stuff like TV shows and Films etc. whilst the actual real life stuff doesn’t seem to affect me too much.

    However the last time I properly cried was at my Grandmother’s funeral last year when one of my cousins was reading a piece about our childhoods round her house. It was kinda like a happy cry really remembering all the good times, some things I had forgotten.

    On the subject of Brexit I hear you on the country not sharing your values/being unrecognizable and the feeling of hopelessness, but I didnt cry or feel upset because I expected it to happen. I was more resigned than anything.

  10. The last time I cried was when I found out all the surgeries I nee to transition from male to female are free on the NHS. Coming from Australia where it can cost upwards of £25,000 just for one or two of the surgeries it was such a relief to know that I won’t be in debt for the next few years just to be in the right body.

  11. The last time I remember crying was seeing my little sister at Christmas, I think.
    It was for no apparent reason… [my heart burst with love I just started bawling]
    I was going through major anxiety issues, and well, I never cry… so it built up.

    That was a long time ago.

  12. Warning: 3 paragraphs of stupid self pity
    I don’t cry very often at all. Probably once every few months. I wish I did cry more. I just tend not to express emotions until I can’t hold it any more. The last couple of times I cried were because of weeks of stress and anxiety building up. The time before that was around easter. I had just been to the WB Harry Potter studio tour with a load of friends. I had been excited for weeks to go, but because of all my stress and depression, I hated every moment. I cried on the coach home because my inability to deal with emotion had ruined a big (and expensive) trip.

    I used to cry a lot when I was young, but I was ‘discouraged’ by the other kids at school.

    I wish I cried more often, and it’s almost definitely not good for me, but fuck if I know how to change it.

  13. The last time I cried was about a week about after I woke up from a little surgery and the doctors said my family were waiting for me and I don’t know why but I started having a mini panic attack because I just wanted to be with them right away xx

  14. I almost never cried before my thyroid died in 2007. I was extremely emotionally stable before that happened. Now I cry all the time. I went through depression for 2 years (2012-2014), and cried just about every day during that period of my life.

    I don’t consider myself depressed now, but I still cry at least once a week over something: movies, tv shows, the latest gun shooting, people dying, politics, general life unhappiness, and (of course) when it’s that time of the month. I cry just from being too tired, like a baby does. I teared up at work today thinking about my mom’s inability to quit smoking (both of her older sisters died of lung cancer; it’s a horrible way to die, and I don’t want that for her).

    The Brexit vote made me sad too! I probably still cry too much, but not nearly as much as I did when I was depressed. I think I’m finding a balance with it now. Sometimes it is a relief to just cry about things. Thanks for sharing your story, Hannah! It helps hearing a positive viewpoint on crying. 🙂

  15. I cry basically every day. It’s not bad tho. I’m very emotional about everything, especially songs.
    But the last time I cried a lot was when I finished senior high school (Norwegian school system). After the last finishing exam I cried for hours. I used the last year of high school to get control over my anxiety and the feeling og freedom and control over my own life was overwhelming. Now I can do whatever I want to and it feels amazing.

    As my psychologist in high school said, crying is a good way of leting go of things that drag you down 🙂
    You’re a true role model and I admire your work!

    Love
    Vilde

  16. I also cry a whole lot, especially while talking. As soon as the topic changes to something emotional, my tears starts flooding. I cried a bit last night while chatting with my girlfriend who’s currently in USA, she was being really cute.

  17. I like this post. It really means a lot to me to see people opening up on the internet so much, because it makes other people feel less ‘weird’ or alone, ya know.
    I get the crying frustration over a boy. And Dory. and Brexit a bit too.
    *hugs*

  18. I’m literally crying right now. I got out of a relationship (amicably) a month ago and I’ve now just realised that I’m in love with one of my friends. I just feel like I’ve ruined everything. Also results day. Two issues = double the tears.

  19. The last time i cried was today becaise once a month my emotions can change from super happy to super sad and sobbing in a minute. So today i cried over the fact that my didnt buy me gnoccis because i told him not to but today i forgot and asked where my gnoccis are and he said he didnt buy. So i went to the toilet and cried.. afterwards i was shaking and needed chocolate. I felt like i was visited by a dementor 😁

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