Life

Not another motivational blog post

I am the most unproductive I’ve been in years right now.

I need some motivational blog posts. I need that push. But I look at them and it makes me want to vomit. They’re cheesy and everything seems unattainable and what am I doing with my life help?!

I thought after I got back from my zen out no internet holiday in Greece I would jump right back into work and be so productive. But instead work has jumped all over me and I’ve lay down and cried.

And I know what it is that’s doing this to me. It has been over three months since my book came out and I still haven’t recovered from “post-project blues”.

I have no idea what to do with myself!

Yes I’ve got work on, things to do, but they’re small. Menial little tasks. Videos, blogs, meetings. Nothing BIG.

I have new big project ideas running around my head but I haven’t got my teeth sunk into anything yet and to be honest with you I’m scared to. I see the huge amount of workload I’ll have once these projects get off the ground and it terrifies me!

I’m sad. I’m in a funk. I’m slacking off and I don’t know how to get out of this cycle.

The other problem is that I’m a sucker for routine and schedules. I love my self-made 9-5 job where I take evenings and weekends off and my kitchen is my office.

But when there’s no work to do, or I’m not in the mood to do any work, I wake up as normal, get ready, sit down at the kitchen table and stay there all day as I procrastinate and wollow in my unproductive sadness.

Go outside for fucks sake, Hannah!

I had to cancel a thing I was supposed to be doing today because of the weather but IT HASN’T RAINED. Bloody weather man. I could have done it today and felt really good. Instead I sat in my kitchen watching YouTube videos instead of getting a head start on something else.

Wasting time is my nemesis. I hate it. I feel so shitty because of it.

I have these days every now and then and I always wake up the next day super productive and feeling great but this feeling just keeps coming back. These days have become more and more regular since finishing my book.

For the last 2 months I have had continuous mouth ulcers. One will start to get better and another will appear. It is so damn painful. One of the causes of mouth ulcers is stress. Clearly not working, being unproductive and not having something to focus my mind on stresses me out.

I just got back from such a relaxing holiday and I still feel like this! Help!

Anyway, this is not another motivational blog post and I won’t be reading any because they don’t help. I’m going outside.

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11 Comments

  1. I started started a job search after returning from a final trip, during some time off from my career. I am still all over the place after having returned too.

    Want to help me find a new project and I will return the favour. Feel like I need a shot in the arm and something to focus on, to snap out of where I currently am.

  2. I know this feeling all too well! Something that often helps me is signing up (and paying) for something that I HAVE to commit to, like a weekly art class or exercise class (or whatever you’re interested in). Short courses are good too! Adding a little bit of structure to the week really helps, plus you’re learning something new or improving a skill, so even if you waste the rest of the day you still feel like you’ve made progress.
    Good luck getting through the funk. Just know that it happens to the best of us 🙂

  3. Honestly, thank you for being real. Blogs are often unjustly synonymous with positivism, inspiration, and that “ideal” lifestyle we create in our minds, that happiness and productivity in life we think is essential to our day-to-day purpose. Secretly–and sometimes out-rightly–we crave this perfectness, this pace of excellence. But that just isn’t human. You keep your online presence down to earth and I appreciate the fuck out of that. You stay human.

    Kudos, cheers, be well…

    from the uppermost right corner of New York State, the city of Plattsburgh.

    — Sky

  4. If it helps at all, the last sentence of this is a good sign. I understand what you’re feeling and have been feeling it ever since I quit my 9-5 and started working for myself. Going outside helps, but sometimes it’s not enough. I like to run errands or work out of the library. At home, all of my side jobs call to me (costume commissions, Etsy shop, etc.) and not just my freelance consulting. So if I’m limited to my laptop, or even just my mind, I can sort out what I really want to be working on a bit better.

    Anyway, I hope you find your way out of this slump. Take it day by day.
    It was great meeting you at the VidCon Creator chat, take care!
    ~ Jenny

  5. I have been feeling the exact same way. Or, what I imagine to be the same. I haven’t written a book. But I have been feeling unproductive and sad; even though I have been busy every day, I feel like I’m not doing anything. I think that your productivity will come back to you. Just let it take its time, as annoying as that is. And let yourself rest! You came back from a vacation after writing a book! Your brain and body probably need to recalibrate for a second.

    Best of luck and best wishes.

  6. Something that helps me is watching a couple motivational videos on YouTube before starting my day, followed by some meditation. Gets me in the right frame of mind.

  7. I have just finished my a levels and I felt exactly the same way when trying to revise. I wanted something to do but the thought of revising seemed too big so I’d just procrastinate to prevent getting stressed. I’m like you and love routine and bring busy and having a sense of accomplishment so It really annoyed me! It took a few days but gradually it got better. I started with being really strict about when I use my phone and stuff I used an app that restricts you from using certain apps at certain time. Then I set myself small tasks and trying not to think about the big picture just thinking ‘ok I’ll do half an hour ‘ then take a break and repeat. Caitlin Moran said something along the lines of ‘you only need to deal with this second. and if you could do that you can do the next’. I kept thinking about it and it helped me. I also triedcto change my location to male myself think I’m doing something different and exciting when really it’s the same work. Being busy is motivation for me so that helped. Mix all that in with things/foods you enjoy and/or are comforting and hopefully the feeling will go away. Thanks for always being so honest I feel I can relate to you (I’m also a hufflepuff and LOVE organisation) and your videos made me feel less lonely during study leave! Good luck with everything 🙂

  8. Hello and welcome to my life of last 2,5 years. The thing that helps me a lot is therapy. Most of our unproductivity comes from some mental blob, and therapist knows where to search for this blob.

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