I’m not sure if today was a good thing for my self esteem or a bad thing.
Today I pulled all my clothes of my rails and out of my drawers and piled them onto my bed. I then went through each item one by one to see if I still liked it and if it still fit. I wrote all about how I’ve gained weight recently here.
This is all my clothes including pyjamas and gym wear:
The next step, I decided, to become more comfortable with my new body was to go through my wardrobe and get rid of any clothes that did not fit me. So that’s what I did this morning. And oh boy was it a lot more emotional that I expected.
Looks simple enough.
It wasn’t really. So many of my clothes just did not fit me anymore and it really hurt. As much as I tried squeezing myself into a few favourite items, my body is different now, it wasn’t going to happen. I even broke a few zips in the process.
I said some emotional goodbyes to items of clothing that have served me well over the years. But I’m not perfect and I did something that I’m not sure will help or hinder my body confidence progress.
I kept some of my absolute favourite clothes behind. There were four dresses that I could not bear to part with even though they no longer fit me. They’re hung on the now otherwise empty back rail, just in case. Is this a bad mentality to get in? Probably. Either I’ll lose weight and be really happy that I can wear my favourite dresses again or I won’t and they will be staring me in the face every morning tormenting me. What would you do?
I also kept all my old bikinis that no longer fit me. But they’re in a drawer hidden away and if I do end up losing weight I’ll be grateful I still have them because buying bikinis for my size is EXPENSIVE.
So this is where I’m at. Next, I want to go charity shop shopping for some new clothes that actually fit for the summer. And here is the pile of clothes I shifted off to the charity shop earlier (I had a full suitcase and backpack!):
So there’s a little update on where I’m at with my self esteem journey since gaining weight. It was tough but necessary.
Are you in a similar place? What should I do with the four dresses? Let me know in the comments!