I feel like starting monthly round up posts about events that happened and thoughts/feelings from the month. We’ll see how this goes. This is what happened in April.
Waiting waiting waiting…
April was the month of waiting and frustration. The flat I bought was supposed to be ready at the end of March. I was all excited and ready to move but it’s just keeps being delayed and delayed. It’s now the beginning of May and I still haven’t been told when I might be moving in.
With everything that happened health-wise at the beginning of the year, the new flat symbolises to me a completely fresh new start. Once we’re moved in we can start buying furniture, making plans and hosting dinner parties! Life recently has felt like this boring, sad, frustrating limbo.
Making plans anyway
So I basically thought screw it. I booked two back to back trips and I’m going to be away for 3 weeks in May. Then hopefully the flat will be ready by the time I’m back and we can move in at the beginning of June! (fingers crossed, because that’s when the lease on my current place ends). I’m going to LA/Palm Springs for 2 weeks and then Austria for a week of sex education seminars and workshops. I cannot wait. Although, it’s been so long since I’ve been away that in April I’ve spent a lot of time planning this trip and also mental energy stressing about it. My first big bit of travel since the surgery, my first sunbathing in a bikini with a stoma bag..!
Actually being a bit busy
Another part of my frustration in recovery has been that I’m not very busy. I’m a freelancer who works from home most of the time and things are only just starting to pick up work-wise 3 months post-op. Being busy, having stuff to do, having a purpose makes me feel good. Moping around the house doing nothing and not socialising makes me feel like crap. But April has (kind of) been a better month for that. I’m able to do more work things like shoots, meetings, events. I even went to Leeds for the day to speak at a school about period poverty and then Dublin for the day to speak at the Child Safety Summit at Google. That was a busy week! And I’m keeping on top of weekly videos and blog posts. My brain is also whirling with ideas for new projects although don’t quite have the mental capacity to figure out how to realise them yet.
April turned out to be the month that felt like I’m finally getting a bit of my life back whilst at the same time having another part of my life being completely out of reach. I’m excited and very nervous about May. Travel is a big recovery milestone for me and I feel very overwhelmed in the face of it. But I’ve done this before and hopefully will get back to my old self on the road!
How was your April and what are you looking forward to in May?